It seems that Wonderland wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Yes, the Stepford-Children-of-the- Corn are all well. Well, as well as twisted demons from hell can be, I guess. And nice was a façade covering I really hate my job, but I’m making a shit-pot full of money, so I’ll just pretend with a big fat plastic smile.
Funny story that all started about a month ago…
My massive software development project was thriving and moving towards the second phase closure right on time. Hooray for us; right? Wrong. It came to light in a great Moses-on-the-mountain moment that the next four phases did not have a chance in hell of making the pull-it-out-of-your-ass deadline.
My decision was to alert the corporate relationship manager. He simply said to make it work and don’t tell the client.
Ah, postpone bad new and make it worse, I thought to myself.
What about the weekly report with bogus dates? I asked innocently. ‘Go with the old dates’, came the answer.
“Ya’ know, being a credentialed project manager and generally an honest person… I’m not comfortable with deliberately misleading the client,” says I.
“It’s not misleading! It’s more like just not telling the client all the material facts.”
“And just how is that different than misleading?”
“Just go with the old dates,” I was told firmly.
Rather than overtly lie, I prefaced my report with, “as per the schedule’… I wasn’t proud of it but I took comfort in the fact that I wasn’t really lying… I needed the job and I was making a shit-pot full of money.
So, just about the time I convinced myself that we’d somehow break the news to the client and everything was going to be okay, the unthinkable struck. We found out that project-wise, the Queen Mary just fell through the cracks.
No sign off’s by those who should have known? No, all the signatures were in place
Weak business requirements? Don’t know, I took the project over a year and a half in and it was made clear that I did not own the relationship, the corporate relationship manager did.
Then what? Maybe it’s a case of ‘you don’t know what you don’t know’. Unfortunately it happens all too often and there is really nothing you can do, except to have built an open and trusting relationship with your client that can whether bad news. It’s a good plan, but certainly not in place on this project (hey, remember I didn’t own the relationship!).
My first thought was gather all the facts, including Risks with possible solution, estimated correction timeline and present it to the client; you know the usual, and go from there. I left the relationship manager a clear and concise message. He did not call me back, but sent me an email stating that my presence on the project was no long required. WTF?
It was clear that the corporate policy of ‘lie and deny’ was in full force and effect, and they knew I would be a stumbling block. My feeling is that this is the new age corporate business model. I cannot function that way, so I’m once again I’m contemplating the idea of a long-term or permanent position, or better yet, six perfect numbers!
