"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.. "

Recession, my ass! This is a full blown depression, and not the kind that can be cured by one of a myriad of drugs; even mary-jane. So I'm now one of the great unwashed and unemployed; and I'm quickly running out of money.

So, get a job, you candy ass slug. (the voice in my head)

"Hey! I've been looking. I can't find anything interesting."

Ohhhh! And are you still interested in eating?

"As a matter of fact, I am. I'm very interested in eating. In fact, I'd almost kill for a sausage and onion pizza.

And... come on.... what's stopping you?

"Wait.. I can't. My funds are very low and I'll have to settle for some canned soup. I"ll just think of it as a Soup Pizza."

Booyah! If you had a job, we'd be eating pizza! Now, wasn't that easy?

"It's not that I've turned down any really great jobs, you know."

What about that bank? The one that wanted you to run the PMO?

"Yeah, but it paid $20,000 less than I've been making. You can't just step down, you know."

And... $20,000 is a huge freakin' raise from the unemployment you're getting now; right?

"I fucking hate you."

Only because you know I'm right.

"If I knew the depression was coming, I'd have taken the job! How could I have known?"

You couldn't, but now that it's real, you have to realign your expectations and FIND A JOB!

"Then buy a pizza... with sausage and onions."

And some black olives would be nice.